We Hate Zombies

Scenario:
You’ve just scoured the area you’ve inhabited for zombie and dispatched the last few zooks in within a mile of your fortified base. Things are looking good for now and you are heading home for a hot meal of baked beans and sauerkraut (Time to go shopping I suppose). As you walk past a large bush (the one that is in the yard of that girl that you liked back in high school), you hear a little bit of scuffling. Scuffling can only mean one thing… zombies. Quickly, you pull out your shotgun, locate the zombie and the deed is done. But this zombie looks to be pregnant, and full term too. Plus, she looks like a fresh zombie. There isn’t any sign of decay yet, except around a gaping wound in her arm. What do you do?

What you should do:
This is a moral issue more than an issue of action. You know that a zombie is a zombie is a zombie and it does not matter if it is a full grown man or a little bitty baby, it has to be destroyed. However, here we have a very real moral dilemma. Is this baby a zombie or is it still a viable human being? It is a tough call for most people.

Normally, you could assume that it is a zombie because the mother is a zombie. However, if zombiism is transferred through an exchange of fluids, this baby may not be a zombie yet. All babies enjoy a luxury known as the blood barrier where the blood of the mother (and other fluids as well) do not mix with that of the child. This is what prevents children from being born with HIV and other diseases like it. Would it be a zombie if you could somehow safely delivery it?

The other thing you have to think about is how long the mother has been a zombie. If it has been more than a day or two, the child is pretty much done for. If it has only been a few hours, the little guy might still have a shot. Since there is no sign of decay on this woman, you can assume that he might still have a shot because she hasn’t been a zombie for too long. And this kid could prove to be the John Connor of zombie hell. A cesarean procedure could save the child. What to do, what to do?

Forget the baby. You have enough to worry about on your own and a brand new baby wouldn’t make anything easier. Plus, the supplies you have would not provide a lot of protection for you, let alone the baby, and getting infected is a very real possibility. Even though you may be killing an innocent child, it is for the greater good. Burn the corpse and get back home. Dinner is hot and ready.

What I would do:
In a situation like this, for me the choice is simple. I could do the operation and hope for the best, but there is a saying that I live my life by. “Hope in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.” In this case, I would have nothing but a hand full of shit and I don’t want that. I would burn the corpse and find my way back home. To make up for the loss, I would make a baby that same night. Life has a way of always balancing out.