We Hate Zombies

Scenario:

You are out at the bar with a couple of the good old boys and you’ve decided to get drunk. We aren’t talking about your average, everyday get drunk for breakfast type of drunk though. We are talking about completely being shit-faced, absolutely blitzed, can’t-remember-what-happened-last-night-but-there’s-a-dead-hooker-lying-next-to-you drunk. After about beer twenty and a fifth of tequila, you are ambushed by a small group of zombies. What do you do?

What you should do:

Unfortunately, you are pretty much boned at this point.  You can’t even see straight, let alone get up and run away.  Your best bet is your car.  If you can make it into your car, lock the doors and drive.  It doesn’t matter who you hit, where you go, or how many tacos you need to order at Taco Bell.  You’ve just got to get out and away from the zombies until you have sobered up a bit.

If you cannot make it to your car, then pull out your gun and start shooting.  No sense in aiming because you can’t tell the difference between zombies and people, so just have at it.  It doesn’t matter if its an old man or a baby, shoot it until it stops twitching.  Remember, this is advice to give you the best shot at survival, not anyone else.  If all else fails, blow your own face off.  At least you won’t be a zombie.

If you don’t have a gun, they you are a freaking moron and deserve to die and come back as a zombie, only to be killed for real by me when we cross paths.  Seriously, who doesn’t keep a gun on them when they drink?

What I would do:

I have been known to black out when I drink.  Hell, I have been known to black out when I don’t drink.  In both cases, the result is always the same.  I have a splitting headache, my mouth is dry, and everyone around me is dead.  I must assume that this would be the case here.  Life has a funny way of surprising us, doesn’t it?

Title: Terror at 88 MPH (click to play)
Style: Top Down Racer
Source: www.zombiegames.net

Wooooeeee… It’s been quiet around here lately, what with all the hubbub and travel and house cleaning and economy crashing and people losing their retirement. I tell you what, there’s nothing better at times like these than to get in your old car/truck and run over crowds of zombies in a race against humanity. Sad thing is, there are no zombies.

Well, this game is your answer. Not only do you get to choose what kind/color of vehicle you drive, but you also get to steal the hearts of America, and that last part is not true! Instead, you can choose between three types of games, time trial (kill 75 zombies as fast as possible), race track, and time attack (kill as many as possible before time runs out). I muted the sound, but I like to imagine crowds cheering and zombies gurgling blood and my car going vroooom! You imagine whatever the hell you want, or turn the sound on and be disappointed. Try out the radio? I guess that’s an idea too.

As far as the game goes, I actually liked it. The three game types added a little spice to the life of a generic game, and running over zombies felt both fun and gratifying. I especially liked it when I squealed my tires and left long trails of blood. Wooo! Now that’s more fun than being flashed at the Indy 500! After killing a few hundred zombies with my car, I did start to wonder why I sustained no damage, especially after ramming about every wall at top speed. Still, I didn’t care that much.

The only downside I saw was that the game got a little too repetitive too quickly. If you’re looking for a quick game to have some quick fun, this is it. If you want a long, drawn out game that remains rewarding after hours of play, look elsewhere. I would have liked to see some powerups, like guns or speed or bounciness or boobs or something, but maybe the creator will hear these words and come out with a second one I will like even more.

Still, like I said, for fast fun, this is a pretty decent game.

Game Score:

Graphics:		2
Sound:		?
Fun Factor:		4
Satisfaction:		3
Total: